Meeting and falling for someone who meets your desires is quite exciting. In most instances, people have expectations about their partners’ looks, behaviour, career, financial standpoint, etc.
It motivates falling in love and believing that you have found “The One”. Unfortunately, each person has a history when it comes to relationships. Not everyone was the one who dumped, but the other way around, for multiple reasons.
It is human nature not to ask or dig about someone’s past, especially when you are attracted to them. This is a big contributing factor to finding yourself stuck with someone not worth your love. The notion that a woman/lady is supposed to succumb and obey her man/partner, lays down the foundation for abusers. When you love someone, you automatically respect, support, and care for them unconditionally. Forced respect under dictatorship is not healthy and should not be accepted.
Being anxious, scared, worried, or even panicking when you think about your partner, you need to know that something is off. Most abusers have narcissistic tendencies and are good at covering up their actions. Hiding behind the tradition, culture, or society’s expectations, beliefs, and norms is commonly used as a strategy. Living in South Africa has made it easier for everyone to be aware of what’s right and wrong behaviour and treatment. Most of the time, the signs are there. These signs are called the “Red Flags”, that one notices on their partners. Because of feelings and expectations, it becomes easy to ignore the signs. Being made to report your every move, change how you dress, being told to hang out with, or how to carry yourself might seem romantic at the beginning and make you lose focus. Love is meant to be shared and remains the best gift of all. When you love and appreciate yourself enough, you will know where to draw the line and put yourself first. Boundaries are crucial in every relationship to avoid blurring the lines. Standing up for your worth is a simple way to secure your emotional and mental sanity. When pain, disappointment, and hurt become the order of the day, turn off the main switch in your heart and move on!